Flavia gomes dos santos*
Received: April 26, 2018; Published: May 07, 2018
Corresponding author: Flavia gomes dos santos, Universidade de Brasilia-Brasil (psychologist) and Institute of Clinical Sexology of Rome-Italy (sexologist), Bogota, Colombia
Female anorgasmia is the inability to have an orgasm, not to be confused with a lack of desire. They are different things, because in the woman does feel desire but fails to reach orgasm. Only 5% of cases of anorgasmia are of organic origin: diabetes, multiple sclerosis, neurological and gynecological problems. The origin is psychological for 95% of women with this disorder. It’s something that happens in the head, and which is related to what you have to learn or unlearn, with the concept of pleasure that is being managed, and with ones self-esteem. Usually, when a woman begins an orgasmia therapy, eight steps are followed to un block and get to work begins, these are:
Almost always you learn the negative message that sex is transmitting, which will be reflected in your sexual life. Having had strict parents, repression, pronounced religion or religious beliefs, been victims of sexual, physical or psychological abuse, at any stage of life; it’s likely to have blockages. Try to identify exactly why sex means to me: Is it a source of pleasure, knowledge, communication or just pain, discomfort or distress?
This is not just know how it works but how it responds to certain stimuli. Female masturbation is more repressed than male masturbation, which directly affects the sexual conceptions we have of men and women. For example, it is believed that a girl who plays is sick, needs help, and an adult who does it is worse because she becomes a nymphomaniac. NO! When a woman does not masturbate, doesn’t get to Know her body (which is very troublesome), she does not know what she’s feeling when touched in different areas, what should actually happen, and how far she cango. Some exercises recommended in these cases, islying alone in your bed, with adequate light or with a flashlight and examining your body. The use of mirrors is critical because it is necessary to identify and know where the body parts are and their names: vagina, clitoris, urethra, labia major-a, etc., without feeling any shame. The clitoris, for example, is only designed to give pleasure, ithas no other function. So? The body is beautiful, it is a source of pleasure and ithas great skills, but you have to believe that you can have an orgasm with your own body.
Meaning no compulsory orgasm.It’s pampering yourself with your own idea of how to do it. For this ideally give yourself a bath, warm with candles, bubble, flavors or even a shower, but feeling pleasure, feeling the water temperature on your body to relax. Then drying your self slowly, looking at every area of the body, using creams or powders to feel one’s hand in all parts of the body, massaging gently and enjoying the answers to touch. Not masturbating, only pampering.
When we learn to breathe, we master the control ofnegative emotions. To do si, its good to learn how to inhale from the nose and exhale through the mouth, calmly, feeling the air entering each organ of the body. This is useful for everything, not just sexuality.
Many women have never had an orgasm because they never masturbated. It is time to do it and feel good about that. This doesn’t mean being forced to have an orgasm, only to feel and experience new sensations. Spend about thirty minutes to yourself, relaxed and breathing, to begin massaging the clitoris gently. You can also use a body oil or cream lubricant, and massage the nipples, the entrance to the vagina and, most importantly, do not panic with what you feel. Allow yourself to savor without panicking, that inner revolution, do not brake or let fear block it. It is pleasant, normal and tasty.
You are a sexy, powerful and orgasmic. Abandon reality and be invaded by the most exciting and crazy thoughts that appear without fear.
After you allowed yourself to feel pleasure, move on to masturbating with anobjective, seeking to have an orgasm. Repeat the above but focus mostly on the clitoris, where a more vigorous massage, maximize the excitation.Do not stop when you reach even more thrills, let yourself go, its a moment of total loss of control.
While premature ejaculation is a loss of control, anorgasmia is excessive control. It is the person who feels safe when avoiding to slip out of the comfort zone, because they are afraid. Orgasm is associated with madness, anxiety, guilt and anguish, which is not. Having an orgasm is getting carried away, not control neither the body nor the mind. Do not worry about how it looks or how your body is heard: relax. What is the relationship between sexual fantasies and anorgasmia? If a woman allows herself to have sexual fantasies, not necessarily shared, it is good that she takes advantage of this and masturbates. You cannot get aroused and reach orgasm if the mind is not willing to do so. In the treatment of anorgasmia, fantasies are fundamental and women learn to enjoy them slowly.
In order to free the mind and feel pleasure, women should try to internalize that sex is not bad, and begin to associateit with nice situations and nice people. As for the physical part, a massageto the clitoris is part of the therapy, without an aim to orgasm, just feeling something pleasant. Later on, and according to the pace of the individual, there is a transition to masturbating with atarget (orgasm). Many women feel pleasure and when they reach the peak of excitement, when orgasm comes, the mental block appears. Do not be afraid, relax and allow yourself to enjoy. It happens often, an orgasmic women (frigid, as they were horribly called before) do feel desire but do not reach orgasm for many reasons, including: lack of motivation, guilt, trauma, distress, anxiety, and bad sexual experiences which must be kept in mind. Forcing a woman to feel pleasure does not work, and there is no magic pill to cure the anorgasmic women. When orgasm becomes an obligation there are difficulties. Some women do not have a sex drive that makes them feel like having sex every day. Sometimes yes, so the negotiation returns. Some people prefer to have less sex with more quality, and there are those who prefer more sex and achieving good quality. But the obligatory sex, which occurs in some couples, it is very harmful to male and female sexuality. Another cause of anorgasmia is related to concerns that women have to please the other. When she becomes obsessed with everything to be perfect, looking nice, having the best positions, give pleasure without thinking of herself, to give a good impression; you are not allowed to feel pleasure and this can lead to anorgasmia. Remember, it is a total loss of control.
Yes. Alcohol and some psychoactive substances influence this and a lot, as well as per-scribed drugs. If you have never been anorgasmic and suddenly you are, it’s good to check what could be the cause, and consult with your doctor. Female orgasm through history (Taken from the online magazine http://www. rexpuestasenlared.com, accessed 02/05/2010). Female orgasm varies greatly from one culture to another. In some human groups, it is strange that a woman has one or two orgasms during intercourse. Although in others, repressing, is conspicuous by its absence. There are no universal standards regarding the female orgasm, every woman experiencesit with different sensations, intensity and duration.
a) Aristotle and Plato were convinced that female eroticism could become so strong that a woman during intercourse could halve a man by his hips.
b) In Africa, the Maasai have only relationships at night when women are tired because otherwise, the orgasm is able to convert semen in water
c) The Bantus, also in Africa, fear orgasmic contractions of the vagina and therefore prefer ejaculating between the knees of their wives.
d) Benin, also in Africa, make women marry each other to pleasure each other, and when they want to have children, hire a man to be able to get pregnant.
e) The Japanese invented the hitherto popular, ben-wa (joy) or Japanese pearls which are inserted into their vaginas to constantly rub and stimulate the “G spot”, providing a pleasant and orgasmic sensation during the day.
f) In Africa and New Guinea some people share the belief that the vagina has teeth that can bite the penis, if the female desire becomes ungovernable.
g) The term petit mort to define orgasm comes from the idea that the French had that during death; the last feeling was an orgasm.
h) The Elizabethans lived convinced that every climax detracted them a minute of life.
i) In the early twentieth century, some Viennese doctors extirpated the clitoris because they believed that orgasm in women could cause mental debility and difficulty having children.
j) Possessed in mystical rapture, historical convulsions or libertines: is what was used to call women who dared to explore their sensual pleasure.
k) Only a quarter of women reach orgasm during intercourse, without stimulating the clitoris and 15% use an object to simulate penetration when masturbating.
Myths about orgasm that cause sickness, that cause pregnancy, which causes dementia; also contribute to accentuate this dysfunction in women. You cannot talk about sexual pleasure if everything related to the issue has to do with physical, sexual or psychological abuse. Love yourself, always believe that you are beautiful, powerful and decide for your own body.
Yes. It should be consulted because the treatments are there. When someone wants treatment, they seek help and find a solution. But first get to Know, touch, allow yourself to feel pleasure and not be ashamed: have sex with the light turned on, while taking a bath look at your genitals, look at yourself naked. Controlling personalities can lead to anorgasmia. And vaginal dryness, due lack of excitement and stimulation, by age, by organic or hormonal problems, too.
No. An orgasm is an orgasm, period, no matter where it comesfrom. For a woman to have an orgasm during penetration you must find the position that best favors this. For example her on top of him, not lying but sitting, which allows you to massage the clitoris while beingpenetrated, and whichshe can find an ideal spot for that massage. Male belief that they are superheroeswhich lead womanto a vaginal orgasm is totally wrong. The important thing is to have orgasm with penetration, masturbation or oral sex. The same thing happens with the “G spot”, that is, why seek or investigate whether each of.com have our points of pleasure? What is the difference in saying that “there it is” the “G spot”, if the head does not accompany? So the magic formulas, as sex refers to, do not work.
Yes. This is not fiction. What happens is that there are womenwho prefer an atomic bomb and others that place several smaller explosions. The multi-orgasmic women do exist, butin order to walk you have to crawl first. To have multiple orgasmsyou have to start experiencing yourself, know how the body is stimulated, and touch it. Having multiple orgasms is a distinctly feminine capacity, ithas nothing to do with men. I pity having to destroy this mythformen, but it’s true. They have nothing to do with this skill. All women are physiologically capable of multiple orgasms, partly because we do not have the refractory period of man, which is what happens after male ejaculation when blood vessels in the penis return to their original state. It is an organic reaction and a second orgasm or erection expects the response of the body to re-stimulation. To have sex after another, after ejaculation, the testicles must resume its initial position and the erection should go back, but as long as women are stimulated (oral sex, masturbation, games, touch) we can go on and have multiple orgasms. It all depends on the tastes of people. While a woman feels excited, she can encourage it as far as she wants. Of course this should not become an obsession and undertake a search, at all costs, to have multiple orgasms. Most women have an orgasm, while having the capacity and that does not mean there is a problem.
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